Have you ever met someone who changed you? I mean for the better. Into a YOU that was even BETTER than the you that you were. Even when you were completely comfortable in who YOU were?
I did.
The first time I met my new doctor, I was 36. I had booked the physical because even though I was anti-doctor, I had seen the obituary of a gorgeous 35 year old Chicagoland brunette who had died from Melanoma. I was spooked. Doc took my info, heard I was a smoker, and said, "Okay, we'll put you on Wellbutrin. Pick a date three weeks from now and you'll be smoke free."
Cynical and stubborn me agreed, only because I knew I'd make my own rules. I wasn't ready to quit. I followed the Wellbutrin instructions and found myself, three days after this doctor's appointment, going cold turkey on the smokes because I was frantic about my future and the future of my boys. Got to chalk that up to a sensitive reaction to the drug.
One time deal, right? Someone changing me??!
I've always been a very open, very flirty, friendly person. It's my personality, it's my job, it's my life. I just GET ALONG with people. And for YEARS, I have allowed my life (gee, maybe via this blog) to be public.
Recently, that's changed. I've changed. He changed me without even trying or asking or even knowing, until now. If he reads this.
I've had friends for YEARS whom I tell everything to. Well. I USED to tell everything to. I don't share now. I have no desire to. I'm protective of me, of HIM, of what entails us. He thinks it's because he reads all the comments on social media. It's not. It's different and so hard to put to words.
It's me. It's me who's changed the rules. Me who's become the Queen protecting her King. That person is now ME. I don't want people saying things about me because I don't want to allow a single doubt to get through our bubble, into his head.
I don't know if that's what will be a month from now, a year from now or forever. Maybe if I lose him, I'll go back to how I was, dishing details.
I doubt it.
He's changed me.
And I'm glad.
