Sometimes you get more than what you paid for.....

I began an exercise regime yesterday called "Tantric Toning."  Well, I should clarify.  I took the plastic off the packaging and put the DVD in the player.  I skipped through the intro and tried to 'center myself in the earth' like the dictator was suggesting.  The Horse pose kind of weirded me out...I mean, it didn't look like any horse I had ever seen before.  I made it about 10 minutes.

You know the whole 'tantric' movement right?  No, not the rock band..."Tantra is that Asian body of beliefs and practices which, working from the principle that the universe we experience is nothing other than the concrete manifestation of the divine energy of the Godhead that creates and maintains that universe, seeks to ritually appropriate and channel that energy, within the human microcosm, in creative and emancipatory ways.^"  (Thank you wikipedia!)  But let's be serious. If you've heard the term, it's probably in reference to some sort of deeper meaning sexual experience where you are totally in tune with your partner. What? You mean you're not supposed to be watching David Letterman while you're 'doing it?'

The allure of this particular DVD in the dollar store wasn't the whole sex aspect (which you should know if you are keeping score at home.)  It was the promise on the front of the cover of having a sexy body...for the mere investment of a buck.  Because, well, duh, I'm a bargain shopper!  And,  a 'sexy body' is becoming a fond, yet dim memory.

Okay. So I put the DVD in, hoping for a quick fix.  I can get past the way the instructor says 'tantric' - was more like t-aaaaahhhhhn-tric.  (Maybe I'm the one saying it wrong with my Midwestern accent...but, probably not.)  No, I was more put off my the amount of time that the chick spent bent over in front of me, displaying her pretty dang perfect breasts.  Seriously...who did they record this for?  Men don't even know what the word 'tantric' means and would be more apt to hightail it in the opposite direction should their partner ever bring it up.  Give up their remote??  UNHEARD OF!  This chick, though, CLEARLY was on display for someone.  The camera guy got an eyeful every single time.

As did I.

I'll give Ms. Taaaaahhhhnnnntric the benefit of the doubt and hope that as we move into other segments of the DVD, she's a bit more covered up.  By then, I should be able to get those dang hip movements down (who knew they were supposed to move like that?!?!)

Updates ahead.