When I see a pregnant woman, I am filled with emotion. No, it’s not happiness for the ‘blessed event.’ It’s jealousy since she obviously had sex sometime in the past 9 months. Bi*&h!
I can kind of understand when people would think that I was my dad’s younger girlfriend when we would go have a drink together. But, really? You think that MAX is my ‘whatever’ when we go to a restaurant with the minis?? Simply incomprehensible.
Evan’s school mascot is the Cougar. Do I need to go on?!
In the whole scheme of ‘smartness’ out of my three boys, I think Ethan wins it hands down. He’ll be put to bed….and gets up….and will be put to bed…and gets up…and will be put to bed….and he gets away with it because he understands his Mommy. Mommy is lonely and Mommy wants hugs. AHA! Ethan can prolong going to bed by standing in the doorway looking cute, talking under his breath until Mommy says, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” he then comes closer and asks, “huggie??”
Note to self: watch the boys. Evan introduces himself as “Hi, I’m Evan David Marr Rodriguez.” If the most notorious sociopaths are identified by three names, what the hell does FOUR NAMES mean? (I was hoping Hollywood….but who knows)
Today, I needed to be somewhere for something during a certain time frame. NONE of the other drivers gave a s*&t! Can NO ONE be sensitive to my needs?!
When someone says to you, “oh, btw, my place is a DISASTER!” DO NOT BELIEVE THEM! This is a ploy to make you feel like the worst housekeeper in the world. (Unless you hear it from ME….then it’s true!)
Am I the ONLY one that cares about what I wear and how I smell?? Well crap, it certainly seems so!
Yes, I know that I’m in a mini van and yes I see that you’re in a 1990’s poser car. Doesn’t matter – I’ll still leave you in the dirt.
The first day of your diet…you can stay on it because the day before, you ate the entire refrigerator.
Keep a man that turns off the TV during ‘playtime.’
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