Unveiled

I love my guy friends.  With a little bit of encouragement, they can blast holes through long-standing myths.  That's right, Men. I’m onto you. You can’t get away with THAT crap anymore.  And HELL NO I’m not revealing my sources.  That’s some sort of journalistic ethics code, right Ms. Miller?  I’d even go as far as wearing prison orange …as a payment for all of the juicy myths that have been debunked.

I’ve been told I’m a decently attractive woman…especially since I’ve been giving  40 some dirty looks and I’ve had three kids.  Uh huh.  I read the rags like Cosmo and Mademoiselle…(well, not so much anymore since I realized that I probably wouldn’t have to really worry about THAT position and how to get untangled from it and how to seduce a 24 year old Libra…) ...but I never believed any of the hoopla about guys not caring about a little jiggle when we wiggle or some dimply thighs.  Because, RIGHT.  Have you SEEN the women they use to advertise these articles?  If there’s a jiggle anywhere, it’s between the ears.  (Ouch, Marr.) But alas…I have found out that is the majority of cases, this is EXACTLY the case.  My source said so.  And he’s got the Y chromosome as proof.  I didn't want to believe him - but he's a VERY smart dude and quite the ladies man.

So girls…let’s put it to the test.  Turn on the lights…walk around nude. I’ll even let you go first!  Please, I insist.  I’m right behind you.  Really, I promise!

Okay.  Here's more.  You know that married guy-friend that you have that keeps trying to set you up with his single buddies?  According to a source, your married guy-friend may actually have a crush on YOU.  Now, I'm not 100% clear on the motive behind him setting you up with a friend.  Maybe it's entirely selfless and he just wants to see his friend happy with such a fine specimen of lady (you).  Or maybe, it's more smarmy than that and he just really wants to feast on the inevitable locker room chat and use that to fuel his fantasies.  Whatever.  Play this one carefully!  The best part of this debunking is that it means that your guy friends really don't think you're desperate and incapable of attracting a mate yourself!  Whew!  Their wives, on the other hand, know the truth.  And they'll be armed with the wine and chocolate to let you vent after you've bagged yet another loser!

Okay, last but not least.  Ladies, we don't always have to be dressed to the nines to have the men appreciate how we look.  Case in point.  Once, while wearing my black yoga pants, ACDC thermal shirt, WIIL Rock sweatshirt and brainiac glasses, I was told I looked sexy.  Oh wait. Sorry.  That was that private conversation that I had with Vince Vaughn one night.  While I was dreaming.  Hey, I'm sure there's a guy or two out there that feel that way!  (Pssst...if that's you, let me know!)