Helllllooooooo Scale. It's been a long time. Not that I've missed you in the slightest. However, I made a promise that I would visit you today, so being the upstanding citizen that I am....here I am.
How's about we make a deal. You go easy on me and I'll refrain from throwing you out the window to be mowed over by the tow truck that lives three houses down. Or, take you back to the thrift store so that you can be bought by a family that has toddler quadruplrets that think you are a mini trampoline.
Don't tell anyone that I stripped for this...HEY! You haven't installed a scale-cam, right?
Okay, deep breath...and I'm on. Eyes closed...but it really can't be that bad. After counting slowing to ten...in five different languages....I peek at the digital display.
AYE CARUMBA!
How in the world did 2.285714285714287 stones creep onto my body in the past three years?
Although, those gyros were sooo good. And the Taco Bell Chalupas (I can't believe I waited so long to try one!) Oh, and the pizza...the wine....hmmmmm. I found out how fantastic food tastes...REAL food (aside from the Taco Bell!) In the past three years, I've had THE BEST meals of my life...from kick ass edamame with this magical elixer made with off-the-hook pork sauce, to fried crawfish and an amazingly marbled steak. I've had the best home-made soups, fresh pasta salad with artichokes and fresh, sweet homemade bread. I've tasted a cucumber Mojito and lots and lots of sushi. Real ingredients and real food. And really good times. And really real pounds. 2.2857 blah blah blah stones.
You do the math.
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