Foibles to Hide the Visuals

A projected high of 41 is a certifiable HEAT WAVE in the Midwest after months of subarctic temps and mounds of delightfully despicable snow.  While I didn't break out the capris and flips (even though it IS the end of March) I shimmied into one of my favorite outfits.  The authentic brown retro dress floats down my (more and more so) curvy body.  The front has an extra little kick.  And the piece de resistance are the thigh highs and boots.  You may remember it from here:

Not me!  But I got my idea for the outfit from this pic!

I've worn it before with out a hitch.  Several times.  Today, not so much.  Today, it felt more like this:

You get the idea, right?

 


than this:

In my dreams.

When I walked more than three feet, they - the dastardly thigh highs -  gave me elephant knees before pooling at my ankles.  Imagine me walking down the hallways, a hand on each side of my thigh, grasping the elastic for dear life.  (It's okay, you can snicker.  Guffaw even if you must.)  The last time I was in this position was doing the polka at my first wedding.

No, they didn't play at ANY of my two million weddings.

I think there has to be some sort of extra cardio involved in all of that.  Shuffle Shuffle Grab! - Jen's Fashion Foible Carbio - only $19.99!  Not sold in stores!

Why am I telling you this?  Because I needed to get my mind off what I REALLY wanted to talk about - errr - show you today.  And that's this:

http://oliviacunning.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/hottie-hump-day-60/

Think of what I did for you up there as a preemptive cold shower.  If you didn't need it, you're not breathing!