Some Days You're the Windshield and Some Days You're the Bug

Country music stations should come with a major disclaimer…you know, that fine print that is always read ridiculously fast at the end of commercials:


10 out of 10 professionals of every kind across the board warn that country music should not be listened to by women who are pregnant, may be pregnant or want to be pregnant... Woman that are in wonderful relationships, in crappy relationships, in no relationship, will never have a chance in hell of having a boyfriend… Women that have amazing husbands, that sleep on the far end of the bed, those that know their husbands are cheating bastards… Women that are on ‘happy pills’ and forgot to take one...( or took too many)… Woman that are AT THIS MOMENT drinking too much red wine… Women that are suffering from Pre Menstrual Syndrome, will be suffering soon or may one day be suffering from PMS… Women that think that they are hot, think they look average and those that know the truth…Women that think starting fires is ‘fun’…Women who know how to shoot a gun…Women who think they can sing…Women who believe they are smarter than Kellie Pickler…Women that wear buttoned-down suits only so they can jump on a honkey tonk bar and show off their hidden tattoos…Women who think the song “Ladies Love Country Boys” was written about them…and hell, just about everyone else.