Has there ever been a literal definition of the word “quickie?” I mean, in theory, we all know what it’s supposed to mean. But in practice? I’m just trying to make sure, see if there is some sort of time measurement....because I sure as heck would like to know that ALL of my experiences weren't 'quickies' …just sayin.
I was told today that I had the voice of an angel. I'm assuming he meant the Angel of Death.
You’d think they could come up with a way for fat transplants…not from your own ass to your lips…but from one person to another. I can’t even tell you how much money people who wanted bigger boobs would save. I could probably single handedly augment 3 sets. OMG. It’s like egg harvesting…I could make a mint. Quick, find me a surgeon!
I amaze myself sometimes. Even if I AM too old to be a child prodigy.
Who put the Brazilians in charge of how much hair we should have on our bodies? Sheesh. I mean, is there a trick to dealing with the …ummm…discomfort of actually going through with it? Maybe they just suck down tons of Caipirinhas and hope for the best. On a side note…when googling the type of alcohol that Brazil is most known for, the first suggestion as I started typing “b.r.a.z.i..” was brazilian wax….REALLY? Google, you pervert!
How about those jirds?
I’m awfully confused. Why is Donovan McNabb not wearing green?? And is that boy’s momma still following him around with a bowl of soup and a spoon. Does she REALLY want to see what happens in those locker rooms? Good thing for D Nabb though…he doesn’t get the soap on a rope for Christmas anymore.
There are moments when I think it would be sweet to have another baby. Not SUWEET! but oh, so cuddly sweet. And then I pinch myself REALLY REALLY hard, shoot myself in the foot and examine every single stretch mark that I have in a magnified mirror. Whew! CURED!
I just stole this from my aunt’s facebook page: Alcohol doesn't make you fat... it makes you Lean... on tables, chairs & random ugly people. Ahem, sister!
It’s been requested that I do a rated R version of this blog for the private sector. But I’m just not too good with the sex scenes. So he says. (ba boom.)
I’ve been worried about my weight lately. I should probably start dieting. Or working out. Hell, that’s what God invented the OFF switch for.
Hmmm…hopefully those are fireworks that I hear out of my window…but I’m really not so confident of that.
I can’t believe that I am watching football versus the MTV Video Music Awards. Oh Wait. Justin Bieber up against Tony Romo. Ahh, yes. I remember now.
I may have bad taste in men (so says my dad), but at least none have ever decided to dispose of me in a manner non-court-like. With my head in another state. BONUS! Well, to me, anyway!
I define a quickie as zero foreplay, just intercourse.
ReplyDeleteI have Lidocaine ointment, it's like Novacaine for the skin. Numbs it right up. I can give you some if you are going to use it for a Brazilian.
If you put your mind to it you could do the 'R'. Practice makes perfect if in fact you would be bad at it.
Doesn't that hurt?
ReplyDeleteApply that question to any of the above.
Let me expound on the quickie a little. Usually it is planned and squeezed in before something on a tight schedule. The anticipation and naughtiness is mental foreplay ahead of time. So it's just some straight sex raw and animalistic, no pausing or changing positions, etc.
ReplyDeletePlus, usually just seeing me naked for more than a second removes any worries about being dry. (tried to be delicate and not too graphic)
Ah yes. I understand now.
ReplyDeleteGeorge-
ReplyDeleteMeaning, you induce tears?
I'M JUST ASKIN'!