Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Train. Chapter 1

The most logical thing in the world would be to write about my daily Metra experience.  I mean, I'm on the damn thing around two hours a day....five days a week....riding from the bleak, impoverished North, to the priveliged southish-North.  (I'm so melodramatic)

Sure, I've posted snippets, teasers, faithfully as my Facebook statuses.  But as much as I would love to regale you with train-tales over crumpets and tea, there is just one problem when I sit down and start to write about this topic:  I get a brain freeze.

Not writer's block but that kind of brain freeze that you get after taking the first looooooong slurp of a REALLY yummy ICEE.  Or, the feeling that you get after you put a huge mound of sugary cotton candy in your mouth.  That feeling of "holy crap, that was almost too much of a good thing!"  (I get this feeling often...around men's cologne, when I eat Drew's Shitake Ginger Dressing, after eating cheesecake and Dove's milk chocolate, after slurping down a McD's chocolate shake....I obviously need to hold myself in check!)

That's my problem with my train stories.  I want to dive right in and tell you everything.  But where do I begin?  What do I leave out?  Do you care about the woman applying her deodorant across the aisle?  About the middle-aged bald guys talking about Jude Law and his affair with Sienna and the nanny?  About the difference in my sanity between taking the 7:37 train and the one that leaves at 7:52?  About the woman screaming on the phone to her soon-to-be-ex, letting all of us know her pet name for him?  (BTW, it was Mo#$er F@$#!r.)

I don't know where to begin.  Visions of bad style-choices, too much cleavage, grown men swinging lunch boxes fill my brain, so today I'll start simple.

NO.  There has been no Risky Business-type of action.

Let's get on that, train-riders of Lake County!

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