While I was bleaching my bathroom floor, thinking about the next nugget of NECESSARY knowledge that I was going to tweet out (which has been really really really hard this weekend due to the muzzle I've strapped on to keep my inner snark silenced - if you know me outside of this drivel, you'll know why this was necessary. A topic I WON'T talk about - maybe more like CAN'T) like the fact that I was bleaching my bathroom floor, it CAME to me.
The reason.
The reason I'm single.
I read hundreds of passive aggressive Facebook statuses every day (did you think I was BORN this way?!). That may be the ONLY category that outweighs the mushy statuses..."I'm at the DMV...with my love (tag reluctant boyfriend here)." "OMG, my love breathed. I'm SO in love." "Awww, I'm ironing my love's underwear. I KNOW there's a ring coming soon." "I love (insert name here) so much I don't care when he farts."
If I was a valley girl, I'd say Gag Me with a Fucking Spoon.
But that HAS to be the issue. My public job. My penchant for publicity. For all the dude knows, I'll publish the transcripts of the first phone sex call. Shame on him. (Oohh...wait. that's a GREAT idea!!)
TEASING.
I'm MUCH better on video.
I'm not 16. or 23. or 30. I don't need to make my every romantic move known. Case in point, who here knows the last time I actually went on a date? Kissed a guy? Had sex?
SEE?
Preaching to my 22 followers, I know.
And if someone here says I'm single for reasons OTHER than what I stated, you're disowned.
you have very good insight into yourself
ReplyDeleteComing from you, I take that as a gigantic compliment!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more. That crap has no place being made public. What happens between two people should stay between them,the world doesn't need to know.
ReplyDeleteAs far as I'm concerned...I will never have an "in an relationship with' status on fb...for all you guys know, I could have gotten married three years ago! :) (and Jory, THANKS for commenting! Means a lot!)
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