Time for New Tricks?

For most of my post prepubescent years, I've made a point of looking in on other couples' relationships from the outside, all judgmental and opinionated:  How in the world can she SHARE an email with him?  The same Facebook account?  A bank account?  Doesn’t she want her own life?  Her own secrets?  Space from him?  How can she not worry when he’s at the bar with his buddies? Doesn’t she get jealous that he’ll flirt with someone prettier (younger, with bigger boobs and no saggy belly?).

This ‘sharing’ people do was so foreign to me, even with being married twice.  I needed MY space. MY time.  MY life.  I was ‘set in my ways.’  I’ve never ‘felt like’ fighting for any relationship I’ve been in.  Counseling?  Waste of time.  I know, not the romantic me you’re used to.  Imagine when I learned this:

Turns out you can teach an old bitch new tricks.

Come to find out, 99.9% of the issue has been within my own personality: the penchant to ‘pick’ the easy guys that were so unlike me that it was easy to keep ‘my space.’  Men who wouldn’t test me because they probably didn’t really care either.  I positioned myself as the ‘disposable wife’ and found the perfect niche for myself.  No real demands.  But no real gain.

Until now. 

Imagine my bafflement when I find my thoughts headed now down unfamiliar and thoroughly terrifying paths.  Paths that, best case scenario, will lead to a complete refurbishment of what I have ever known relationships to be.  Fight?  Damn straight, I'll fight.  Ha, worst case scenario, I dangle myself over the edge and freak out at the last minute.  Wait.  That sounds like a skipping record…

Sounds positively Donna Reed.  Time to bring out my Park Lane pearls.  Buy a pair of Stuart Weitzman pumps.  And rewrite the manual of Jen Marr.  

I'm pretty sure one of the chapters will focus on how to change your Facebook relationship status and how to take 'couplesies.' ;)