The Weight of the World

Since I've been going to a chiropractor, I think I've probably learned a WHOLE bunch about myself.  (Not really, but I want to make the Doc feel better.  Actually, I think the one that learned more was HIM!). 

 For starters, I'm really 6'4" and depending on which direction I turn, my chest either crosses the border of WI, the lake, IN or IA.  HA.  I thought my shoulder muscles were for carrying my babies...and groceries...and my purse.  WHO KNEW that they actually helped make me stand taller!  

I found all of the missing balls and marbles from my childhood:  they are lodged in the back of my head...in the muscle that is the opposite of the frontalis one..and in my trapezius and my Latissmus Dorsi.  I'd show you a picture of what I'm talking about, but then you'd get excited.

There are places where there should not be mirrors.  The Chiropractor's office is one of them.  If it's after work.  ESPECIALLY if it's after work, you've had a bad day, are PMSing, need to slather on more makeup, hate your hair, look like a bag lady and REALLY need to...sleep.  (Not really on the last one, but I am trying to make this a PG rated blog!!)


ALSO:  Make sure you know what activities are in store for your session.  If it will require MORE than a killer massage, make sure you leave the skirt and stiletto heels/boots at home.

I quit smoking in 2006.  Can't STAND the smell of after-smoke.  However, after a session at the Doc's, I feel like I should have a celebratory smoke.  Now mind you, this is no pansy fansy massage I'm talking about.  This is pain (coming from a woman that's birthed three children) that could register on a scale of 1 to 10 at around a 7.987.  And it's goooood pain.  (Until the next f(*&^ing day.  When you can't move or turn your head.)

You should check your doctor's credentials before booking an appointment.  I did.  Oh wait.  Um. You should at least check to see if he or she lists 'sadistic' as an adjective describing them.  (Personally, I think 'sadistic' is a given.)  I actually JUST checked out my doctor.  He was given 5 out of 5 stars.  I'm glad his wife got to that so quick!

I've found that the Doc thinks that my body should be able to do things that I really don't think my body should.  (has anyone's personal guy read Penthouse Forum?  Yeah, it's kinda like that without the sex.)  He said today, "Hey, your leg's not even at 90 degrees yet."  HELLO!  Almost 40.  What the HELL does my leg need to be at a 90 degree angle for?!?!

Oh, the conversations to be had...all because I have a whacked body that needs attention.  MEDICAL attention.